Monday, July 24, 2006

THE FINAL COUNTDOWN

Brace yourselves, political junkies, but I've created a COUNTDOWN for the highly anticipated and sure-to-be historical midterm elections coming up this November! (Only 105 days left to buy little American flags and bumper stickers!) Will the Democrats take back the legistlative branch (aka the Revenge of the Yuppies) or will the Republicans maintain their iron grip on 'Merica? (I mean, Katrina/Rove/Plame/phonetapping really isn't THAT big of a deal, right?) I CAN'T TAKE THE SUSPENSE!!!


Screw sports - this is politics at its finest! This handy chart serves practically the same function as a March Madness tournament bracket. Anyone care to join me in a betting pool? Mark your calendars because this midterm election will make Falwells out of McCains and Naders out of Clintons as they align their beliefs with their core supporters, then, like magic, will moderate their views to relate to the electorate (moderates like you, me and everyone in Ohio.) The real games will begin with debates, caucusses (note the extra "s") and political bantering. It's a televised catfight in power suits - does it get any better than that?

Well, I know how I'm going to cast my valuable swing-state, 18-25 year old vote. I'm voting WHIG! Screw Andrew Jackson's vision of an egalitarian agricultural society! Let's hear it for Clay’s “American system” and industrialize! It’s the FINAL COUNTDOWN!!! (Go ahead and click on that last one. You'll be a better person and remember, sometimes it takes some Europe to remind us of the thrills of living in a democratic republic.)