Monday, August 14, 2006

Sand in my shoes on fifth avenue: Boy George, Castro and some dude named Eugene?

I'm back in New York, and miles away from the river I grew up biking along, the Willamette Valley swimming/hiking Eden known as Mount Pisgah and the yummy cookies me and my nephew baked. It's nice to be back, but the sand in my shoes made miss the tranquility of the Pacific more than anything. Sigh.

A few other things:

I know a lot about robotic knees. And now thanks to USA Today, you can, too.

My national security threat level went jumped from canary to scarlet when I decided to travel with shampoo. I'm clearly up to something other than a fresh scalp.

Things are looking a little dirty for my buddy, Boy George. One cannot suppress neon! (Orange is totally the new hot pink!)

CONSPIRACY THEORY OF THE MOMENT: I think that Fidel Castro is a hologram. There's just no other explanation! Here's a bunch of other theories...any better reasoning out there?

My personal theories about his endless life and ability to seize power (his brother may technically have the reins, but us younger siblings out there know who REALLY gets to lick the cake batter-soaked spoon)
- Castro is living in a trailer park somewhere with Elvis.
- Castro was killed by the FBI in the 60s for sleeping with Marilyn Monroe, thus creating an iron-curtain love triangle with JFK.
- Castro never existed at all, rather he is all in our heads. (Have any of us really ever met the man?)
- Castro is a giant muppet, Jim Henson's last great creation. Admit it, with all that fur, he really does kind of look like one. He derives his power from flailing his arms around, wrists attached to long sticks.

That's my Monday and I'm sticking to it.